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I admire your strength, anon. Even though my wife treated me horribly for a long time and I knew it was hopeless, I couldn't bring myself to call it quits; I simply loved her too much. Eventually, she left me and I was devastated. In time I came to grips with it all and realized that leaving me was the best thing she ever did for me. This is a terribly difficult time for you, but it will get easier as you go. Be as strong as you can and know that there are many of us pulling for you.
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