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Hi! I'm new to the cellar, I'm living a situation similar to yours (when you opened the post) and I will say something about it in the post of the ring, where the theme was this more or less.
Now, as I feel very close to you, and it's extraordinary how I could have written the things you wrote, I sincerely think you are not in love with this man. Forgive me if I'm brutal, you asked for this at the beginning, and everybody was very sincere in fact! but this is not love. you need him, you can't imagine living without him, his embrace and his smile and his breath and so on, but this is not love. Definitely. And you will see it when you take distance, even if now you're probably thinking I'm a bitch and I don't know anything, and this is true. This is just my opinion. If your nature is not to have an open relation and you force yourself into it, you will only be more frustrated because you won't like it. If you keep going with a man that lies, that simulates so good you had to discover by chance with no one single sign of something going wrong, then there is something big soooo wrong!
I myself, I'm not having the balls to do it, so here in Italy you would say I'm the bull saying horny to the donkey, but still I know it is the only possibility for my life and my dignity not to be destroyed, and I will do act.
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