Having been raised in a violent home and then managed to get myself into not one, but two, abusive marriages, I can tell you that not all of the dysfunction is on the part of the abuser. All too often, the victim has little or no self-esteem and a warped idea that this is life and love. We tend to believe the abusers anger is our fault, that if we were more of this and less of that and just tried harder...we could make them happy and then they wouldn't hurt us anymore.
It takes a lot of boot-strapping, support, and inner change to realize that no, we do NOT deserve to be treated in such a way and yes, we DO have the strength and power to walk away from our abuser.
I volunteer at the local women's shelter, I am an admin for a large online abuse support site, I loan out my many books on abuse, and I offer my shoulder and affirmation to anyone I see who appears to be in trouble or need it. I speak up whenever I read about this subject, such as on this thread. And lastly, I will never be allow abuse to be a part of my life again. I hope to break the cycle with my own children by living a happy, healthy life.
Stormie