God sent me a letter, pre-sort "resident" addressed. Enclosed was a paper hanky that has been anointed with the power to CHANGE MY LIFE. All I have to do is write down what I want and put it under my pillow.
Also enclosed was a sacred, sealed, spiritual prophecy...sealed with sticky glue. Let's see here (reading) blah blah, mumble mumble...oh, here it is "do not open this prophecy until you have placed your prayer page and the prayer handkerchief back to this 56 year old church before sunset tomorrow or the next day. God will help you do this. You will see..."
CRAP, I unsealed the damn thing. Now what? Will I burn in eternal hell? Just my luck, all I've gone through in life and a damn pre-sort letter damns me to hell.
I also didn't "sow my seed gift to God's work in the amount of $_____"
Hallelujah!
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
--Bill Cosby
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