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Methinks the question is not just what, but where.
The what: my 22yo girlfriend.
The where: where my wife can find me.
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"The pride system tends to intensify the self-hate against which it is supposed to be a defense, since any failure to live up to one's tyrannical shoulds or of the world to honor one's claims leads to feelings of worthlessness." Bernard J. Paris, Ph.D.
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