Hey chick - I'm so glad you're back.
I hope I didn't come across too sanctimonious in my post - I
was disappointed in the way things came down, but I'm glad I had faith in your strength of character. You do have it, however you try to diminish yourself. I know from what you have said about other people in your real life that they recognise it too - you're too hard on yourself and low self esteem is a downward spiral (I have notes in case you missed any classes).
You're one of the good ones - try to remember that when the red cloud comes down. Start your own wahwahwah thread - I don't mean to belittle what what you are going through, I just mean that if you start a thread purely to sound off (as other posters have done in the past, including me) at least you will feel free to write about yourself, your feelings, your situation etc. You
might get some stick, esp if someone who doesn't know you stumbles across the thread - either ignore it or take a day before you reply. I hope you know by now that there are plenty of people willing to get a PM as a sounding board. If you've really bared your soul you'll probably find a regular poster will fight your corner. And if regular posters give you tough love then it might at least give you another perspective.
And quit that damned job
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until you feel ready and capable to make the change - it's no good for you and the longer you stay there the worse you'll feel.
Good luck with everything - you know I'm thinking of you and I am so pleased you not only came back, but also came back with class and not with accusations.