Weeeell..... to be 100% honest I feel like she's got a little bit of justification. And I mean a LITTLE bit. Here's a bit more back-story...
A few months back she started googling me, and she found a 5 year-old "introduce yourself" post that I put up on some forum. It was a fill-in-the-blank style post, and two questions were, "Do you ever miss an ex-girlfriend?", (answered yes), and "stuck on desert island w/ 1 person...", and I answered with the name of that ex, and commented it was the same person as the ex-gf answer.
She read that (2 lines out of 200), and automatically assumed I had some hang-up about this ex. I explained to her that no, there is no hang-up. It was a form-letter, and I made that post years ago in a moment of loneliness, and I was reminiscing about my first girlfriend. (Hence the reason for me filling out an "introduce yourself" topic). Nothing exciting, and definitely nothing to be worried about.
She accepted it, and didn't mention it again.
BUT THEN... Quite innocently (I believe her on this) she was going through a stack of old papers and she ended up finding: the break-up letter that I wrote to that self-same ex-girlfriend. Her first reaction is that I really *DO* have some hangup for this girl, why else would I keep that letter for so long? This is the part where I give her some sympathy. To be honest, I have to admit that it doesn't look good for me. But the truth is that the I kept the break-up letter originally because I was 17 at the time, and the letter was full of "growing moments". But after so many years it had ended up stuffed in with a stack of old papers and forgotten about. So she found it and was horribly (horribly horribly) distraught. (Remember, this is a break-up letter, not a love letter). I made a show of laughing the thing off and tearing up the letter and flushing it down the toilet. Again, she accepted the response and seemed to be stable again.
Next, pick up where I began my first post. Jealous girl, find password, dig into past.
*Sigh* I really don't know. I hear what you're all saying. It's the same thing I've preached in the past. Basically:
1) If they love you, then they'll accept your past, the good and the bad
2) Relationships are work, but they shouldn't be a chore
I don't know. I'm not ready to quit on this one. Like I said... this is the only woman I've ever said "I love you" to, and I still feel the same way. I don't want to walk away from that. I just want to get her fixed in the head.
