[Griff]

Okay... I dumped my first reply accidentally so lets try to get back to that place.

First, making money is never the issue with me. I have everything I need. Taxation is how education gets done, so I need to set that aside. I have a passion for the material and do bring "a quiet humor" to quote my observing prof, to the classroom which I was known to use to de-fuse potentially messy situations. What I need to discover about myself is, do I have a real desire to teach or is another creative outlet good enough? I have projects but most involve my holeing up in a woodshop, over a notepad, or another isolated place around the farm. I love those things but am I missing a place in the greater society?

There will be levels of bull to contend with but if I enjoy the staff that will be fine. I like teenagers with their certainties where uncertainty should reign and uncertainty where there should be no doubt. I want to open minds without following up with the ideological brain washing. I have a passion for living that I know is sometimes missing from a school enviroment. I've been the lazy student who at all costs, even of a decent education, just wants to skim through without making a ripple. One thing I don't like to feel is that I'm coercing someone. I need to prove that my enthusiasm can surmount reluctance.

I've found a good building with a solid principal, rural kids, and a positive first impression. So I'll sub for a while, gauge the impact on my emotional health, and we'll see if its something I should be doing. Will I miss my solitude? Can I maintain a reasonable level of energy at school and still be a solid Dad/hubby? Can I keep drinking the Black Bush I was just handed at this pace? Well, I have one answer tonight.