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I don't know of any simple answer, I can just say what I've been doing:
Dated a girl for almost nine years. Lived with her for six. Last january, she suddenly wanted out, talked her out of it. Got to be miserable for a few months. She wanted out again by april. Didn't fight it.
Announced that I was taking a break from dating until I got my shit together again. (not long after this is when I became a irregular lurker around these parts) The way I see it, I hope there comes a time that I can go try that relationship thing again and work through my baggage so that it can be more like experience and potential wisdom, rather than a burden.
The next big trick is trying to figure out when it's objectively been long enough. I don't think I'm there yet.
Stay strong.
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