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Iraq was no threat the second time, we attacked them with no provocation and with no reason other than to steal from them.
What does someone's spouse have to do with their vote? Makes no sense to me... just don't discuss it with them if they don't agree with your politics if they won't be an adult about it. If if is a real problem, tell them what they want to hear and vote for who you like, problem solved.
Personally, I vote for the individual, not by party.
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