Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123
Apples don't fall far from trees
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= He has a lot of his bio-dad (I just can't call him a father, sorry) in him. Both genetically and mentally. What the hell happened to this poor kid during years 1 thru 7???? I hate to even try to imagine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123
We reap what we sow
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=And partially what his bio-dad sowed. This is not all your fault, but it is true that the first few years are, by far, the most important in childrearing. I think its safe to assume that your son got none of that for far too long. Perhaps the damage was already done, more like highly probable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123
I would never speak to my parents like that because I was raised not to speak to my parents like that. In return, my parents gave me discipline that was shielded in respect.
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My mom would have bitch-slapped me across the room if I ever said anything even remotely close to what your son said to you. Although again imagine what his first seven years were like and how HE was treated. All the abuse he probably endured both mentally and physically - perhaps even sexually. I am not a doctor, but this outrageous behavior sounds an awful lot like it may have been caused from some sort of abuse.
I don't think you were inn a position to really "succeed" as a mother. but that said this kid has NO IDEA how to reach out to, love or trust you or anyone else for that matter. He probably related to "Miss Thang" because she was the closest thing to his bio-dad that he found. All he was (probably) taught at a very young age was hate, negativity and abuse.
Oh, and where was he prior to and during the whole murder thing? Any chance he knew this was happening or overheard his bio-dad
planning it or feels somehow responsible for his bio-dad killing the man you were to marry? Or responsible that his father killed him period? Ruining "everyone's" lives. Thats a hell of a burden to put on a kid.
Last thing a 17 1/2 yr old is a KID. I've got three of my own 18, 16, 14 and their ages have less to do with their maturity level than the sum of their life experiences.
Sorry so long - I just went off on you and I don't mean it to come across that way.
Compassionate hugs to you I'm really sorry for your troubles.