Well, birdzilla's stately pink presence continues to grace the refrigerator ... the cooking is tabled for the time being while we continue to investigate other options.
On the upside, I do have the most wonderfullest boyfriend on the face of the earth. He cooked up a mess of scrambled eggs.
Toast too.
We won't starve of course. We're not in the wilderness, but by gods I'm going to get that damn bird cooked one way or the other, even if I have to put a blowtorch to it. (This may require a trip to the hardware store tomorrow for another gas cylinder, but I'll do whatever it takes).