[Sundae]

I included myself as currently taking them, because I took the last one so recently.

I have no doubt that they helped me get through the worst of my depression - there were days when I sat on the sofa in pain from a full bladder unable to talk myself into going to the toilet for example. I'm not sure that I could have pulled myself out of that alone. My whole personality felt like it had been tied in a sack and dropped into the deep, dark well of my brain - I was cut off from my normal thoughts and totally hopeless that I would ever be "me" again.

I was started on fluoxetine (Prozac), but within 10 days I was back at the Doctors because I was having intense and recurrent suicidal thoughts. I couldn't even pick up the phone to make an appointment - I had to walk in there and sit in the surgery until someone was free to see me.

I settled on paroxetine (Paxil), which was increased from 20 to 30mg when it didn't have enough effect for the GP's liking. The most recent prescription I had was back to 20, and I felt I was beginning to get my life back.

I decided to stop taking them because although it's only been a short time (comparitely speaking) I hate the idea of being dependent on them for normality. I have a history of depression which has simply not been diagnosed before - this was the worst episode but I am aware they do pass.

Hence trying to work on my thinking and subsequent behaviour for the future.

I accept that some people need the medication on a long term basis - I honestly don't feel I am one of them and the previous month has helped confirm this for me.