[God]

Originally posted by Griff
Hi! How was your Christmas?

(Speaks in booming but not painfully loud God voice)

Hello Griff. Very good thankyou. Of course, you know it’s basically just me and Jesus here on his birthday. I give the majority of angels their wings a few days before Christmas , and the others are busy trying to earn theirs. That way we get a little quality time together. Both of our schedules are quite busy during the year, this way he can open his presents undisturbed.

Yes, I do give him presents. He made out well this year, the economy is crappy and there were thousands of real bargains. It’s tough to find the perfect gift for your only son after giving gifts for thousands of years. I try not to overdo it though because he normally breaks the cool toys by new years. Many times just the box is still intact in January. There’s nothing more entertaining than seeing the savior of humanity crawl through a big box or stick his tongue out at me through a cutout in the side. Kids nowadays. What can you do?

I was wondering if you could explain why the only time I saw angels was that time in college when we were drinking on the roof... well you know the story.

That’s a good question. Let me try to explain some of my policies.

As you can imagine, I have a lot to do, so I have to delegate a lot of work. I have a printed “God policy” handbook for new angels and the majority read and follow them. Sometimes we get some angels that like to "show boat" the fact that they received their wings by allowing people to see them. This is clearly prohibited in the handbook, but it happens. The fact that you were drinking probably boosted the angel’s confidence that you wouldn’t take pictures and such. That’s a felony up here and I get bitchy when it happens. Please accept my most sincere apology.

Don’t think the lack of my personal attention in protecting you that day, and many others, means you are not very valuable to me. You are very important to me and people in the distant future. Your kids, and their kids will play a direct role in helping humanity in ways you cannot comprehend at this time. I’ll explain when you come up. It’s a bit too involved for this forum.

My last thought or request is that you try to be a little easier on George. You wouldn’t believe the strings I had to pull to get him in there, and I’m God! Do you think Gore would have done any better? I think not.<br>