|
13 - Baby sitting my best friends bratty, little 5 year old sister. We used to lock her in the closet, steal my Mom's car and cruise around looking for drug deals.
14-17 - In juvie where they tried to make me learn how to sew aprons. I ran the sewing machine needle over my fingers the first day and got to spend the next 2 years in the medical ward. One of the doctors gave me the key to the Class I drug cabinet in exchange for wild, kinky sex.
18-30 - Hey, man, it was the 60's, hell if I remember. I know I lived on a commune for a while where we all "did our own thing." My thing was shop lifting.
30-45 - My parents finally caught up with me and sent me to one of those de-programmer places. I graduated with full honors, programmed to take my rightful place in society. I got my BA in two years while working as a shelver at the college library and nights at the student grill. I had a double major and graduated in the top 20% of my class at University of Colorado.
I won a scholarship to the University of Denver to study Library and Information Science. I managed to pull down a 4.0 average while working as a cataloger in the University library, an agent for AAA Auto, and ghost writing my ex husband's newspaper articles for him. All this, despite the fact that I had been diagnosed with 3 severe personality disorders and was alternately suicidal and murderous. The day I interviewed for my first professional job at the University of Idaho, I had just shot a policeman. I got the job, anyhow (heh,heh Who in Moscow, Idaho reads the Boulder, Colorado paper?).
Then I had some more library jobs of little consequence, managing $500,00 plus book budgets, selecting all the scientific books and monographs the libraries acquired, being in charge of all the reference librarians and the selection and budget for the reference collection. I learned to seperate the voices in my head from the actual voices of the real people around me and even stopped over-dosing for a year. I never missed a day of work, even though my stomach had just been pumped, so it was a moot point, anyhow.
Somewhere in there I went back to the University of Colorado and got my second Master's - this time another biology degree. I maintained a 4 point average there, as well, and even took courses on human physiology, cell biology and the like. I tried to hang myself the night before my final exam in molecular genetics, but my hubby cut me down just in time for me to make it through the door as they were passing out the blue books.
My final professional job was at the Denver Botanic Gardens Library, to which I commuted 70 miles each way through record breaking blizzards and sub-zero temps. I pulled down 50K a year, and this was TEN years ago.
After work, I tutored 92 children who had signed up for the local children's literacy program. When they asked about the fresh razor slashes on my wrists or my sudden bouts of uncontrollable crying, I told them that me and my kitty were having relationship problems.
Now, I live in luxury on $8,052/year plus $10/per month in food stamps. Best career move I ever made, although my time in juvie wasn't bad.
What was the question again?
|