[breakingnews]

I'm about to, and it really fucking bothers me. The most frustrating part is that I wouldn't even be in this situation if my parents stopped trying to run my life and ride my ass constantly. Then again, it's my fault for not standing up for myself and coming out clean to begin with. Ugh.

(On a side note, I'm a very honest person. That's probably why I'm about to be found out - because I'm not good at these kinds of things.)

The short of it is that my parents, my relatives, my current boss - who all know each other well and talk often - all think I should get my MBA here in Taipei. After studying business in college (I have a BBA), I have ZERO interest in getting an MBA, especially from a mediocre English-taught program in a foreign country. However, for them it's a non-issue: This way I'll stay in Taiwan two more years, get an MBA, work here, allow myself to get married off to some gawky Taiwanese girl and grow old hiding in my parents' shadow. I suppose there could be worse, but this is not the life I want.

Anyway, rather than be the defiant, spoiled jerkoff I should have been and simply refuse to apply, I went ahead and submitted an application. Well, most of it. Okay, fine, I turned in barely half of what was required. Regardless, everyone was happy and I carried on knowing there's no way they'd accept me based on my partial application. I let the late deadline pass, and lo and behold, yours truly was not selected to interview. A thousand blessings.

The problem is that my mom - and consequently EVERYONE ELSE - just became aware that I still have to hand in some miscellaneous things: a second recommendation letter (I originally asked my former boss but he couldn't do it, so I had to ask a family friend here) and my college transcript, which has still not arrived from the U.S. However, I didn't tell her that the deadline already passed, and certainly didn't inform her that interview selections were already published. And I'm sure she'd LOVE to hear that my application is entirely screwed anyway since I didn't submit critical portions.

I'm trying to fabricate a neat little story about how I misread the deadlines, misunderstood the Chinese instructions, yadda yadda ... but deep down inside I know I'm fucked. The whole thing is bound to collapse shortly. The nail in the coffin is that I did not realize *just* how close my father and my BOSS are to the higher ups at the university (they are both alumni). There is a 150% chance my boss will get on the phone once he hears I was not chosen to interview; my father, however, can be talked down, since he is a little less aggressive about pulling strings in these kinds of situations.

In the U.S. I would not be worried about this dilemma - admissions decisions are confidential, and I could tell the officers under any circumstances not to release info to my parents. But it doesn't work like that here, that sort of discretion does not exist. Strings can be pulled in all directions; no door is shut to someone with inside connections.

What I fear most is that it will become known that I completely half-assed my application and lied blatantly about the deadlines. I'm not quite sure how, but this situation has the potential to be a huge embarassment for me and my family, which is a big deal to Taiwanese people. I'll have to live that down, and that sucks.

And, as always, hindsight is 20/20: I should have made a stand and not bothered applying. That might have stirred the pot, but it would have been ripples compared to the tidal wave looming overhead. It's like that saying about masturbation: It's a good idea in the beginning, but in the end, you're just fucking yourself.