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Yuck. I wouldn't want my kids to see me like that. I'd want 'em to be able to afford a decent taxidermist. They could make me into a coffee table. Or stand me up and put a clock in my chest - voila - a 'grandfather clock'. Or I could, Atlas-like, hold up the TV. Or with enough urethane, I could be a boat-bumper at the dock. Or crook my arms and legs, mount my back to the garage ceiling, and use me as a bike rack. Or....
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