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The gummint doesn't have any power over consenting relations (in most states), but it has the ability to restrict a set of rights.
To the state, a marriage is a financial and legal partnership. To deny this partnership to any two individuals is wrong, but the state can call it whatever it wants to.
As for the polylove argument: that such partnerships simply can't be three-way, seems much more logical than to say a legal partnership can't be made between two people of the same sex. The legal difficulties of a three-way partnership are mind-boggling to start.
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