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Well, yeah, the analogy of the government as family is an interesting one, but open to debate.
I view children as born as little savages who have to be taught stuff like not stealing the neighbor kid's toys, don't pull the cat's tail, and life is not all about getting whatever you want just because you want it.
A good parent gives a child the things he'll need to make a go of it in the world. Things like discipline, compassion for others, a good education, and medical care. Its mainly up to the individual what he does with his own life.
But we are members of society as well as being individuals. A strong group of individuals makes for a strong society. That's where enlightened self interest comes in. We try to make sure that ALL our children get a good education, medical care, a proper diet, etc.
Idealy, the parent should provide these things for his child, but last time I looked, the world is far from ideal.
I don't think this means that people "exist to be parented by the state." Helping out a child who is living below the poverty line is a wise investment in the future. Under the right circumstances that child can grow up to be a drug addict or he could grow up to be a teacher. The disabled should be helped to get back on their feet as much as possible - our current system allows the low income disabled to just get by in bitter poverty and does very little toward helping them rehabilitate themselves. The elderly who have worked all their lives deserve a dignified retirement. People who take advantage of assistance given to them in good faith should be punished for bad faith responses.
Its more about the social contract than it is getting a whipping from Dad or spoiled by Mommy.
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