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Your sexuality is *yours*. If this is a love thing instead of a sex thing, then your partner needs to lighten up and stop creating problems by insisting that you come out. If it is just a sex thing, then toss it and find someone to do who has a little bit better view of the proverbial Big Picture.
It sounds to me as if *she* has a problem with her self-image if she's worried that you might be "ashamed" of her. She's projecting.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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