Quote:
Originally posted by dave
So basically, the point is, you don't need to announce it to be yourself. Just like straight people don't introduce themselves as "Hi, I'm Donald and I'm straight", gay persons don't need to introduce themselves as "Hi, I'm Phil and I'm gay."
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It's really not as simple as that. Your sexuality is a part of you, and comes up in many more situations than just in the bedroom.
For example:<ul><li>holding hands
<li>kissing
<li>flirting
<li>having a crush on someone (and if they're straight, trying to hide it)
<li>checking someone out that you think is hot
<li>going out on a date</ul>These are all things that straight people don't have to hide. If you're gay, though, engaging in any of these results in innumerable interpersonal consequences. People will start treating you differently. You can lose friends. You could lose your job. Or, people could just start taunting and harrasing you. It is not easy to keep it a secret. It requires constant effort. If there are people who know, you know who all of them are, and if they tell someone else without your permission, it's a big deal. Being in the closet is very stressful. The whole point of being "out" is so that you don't have to deal with all that bullshit. If you're out, some people are going to start treating you like shit, but you don't care anymore because it's too much stress to have to hide it all the time. If you're not maintaining the lie, you may not go around announcing your sexuality to people, but it will be obvious in the things that you do. The first thing you're going to want to do when you're out is to hold hands in public. Not because you want to flaunt your sexuality, but because you want to feel liberated from the oppression of the constant lying.
Any sort of talk about people not needing to know is bullshit. When they find out, they're going to start treating you differently. They could be okay with it, but they might be prejudiced and start hating you with extreme vigilance. Until they find out, you just don't know which it's going to be, and the stress in the meantime could be killer.