[Spexxvet]

If I can't rub one out privately in my hotel room, I'll have to pick up some drunk chick in a bar, risk spreading disease and causing an unwanted pregnancy, and possible subsequent abortion or welfare case, or hire a hooker, continuing the exploitation of women and taking the same risks as already listed. They've taken away dildoes in some states, and now this! These conservative bastards don't want us to have any fun at all!

I'm just doing my part to help humanity through masturbation.