Handling the situation when your child is stealing:
Stealing often causes more concern to parents because it may happen outside the home and may affect other people. During the school years, stealing may be a sign of a problem, but it may also be a result of peer pressure and the need for the child to fit in. It is important to look at the whole situation.
Children under the age of 3 take things because they do not understand fully the difference between what is "mine" and what is not. They then may become possessive of their things and protect them. They do not steal with bad intentions.
Children between the ages of 3 and 7 begin to respect things that belong to others. However, this age group will trade property without regard to value if something else is wanted. The respect for property continues in the school-aged child.
By the time the child is 9, the child should respect the possessions of others and understand that stealing is wrong. Children in this age group may continue to steal because of several factors, including the following:
They may feel peer pressure and the need to fit in.
They may have low self-esteem.
They may not have any friends and are trying to "buy" their friends.
They may try to become good at stealing to feel proud of something they have done if they do not receive positive feedback from their parents.
When does stealing become a concern?
There are multiple situations that may cause concern. If any of these apply to your child, it is important to consult your child's physician:
an older child that steals and does not feel bad about it
a child who constantly steals
if other behavioral problems also exist in the child
Children older than age of 3 should be confronted with any lying or stealing, but it is important to remember that most of these behaviors are part of growing up and do not represent severe problems. Each child is unique, and your child's physician should be involved with any concerns.
This site if for more than just stealing the odd cookie... but it was a helpful start for our path.
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/taskforcepaper.pdf