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Originally Posted by MaggieL
Are we confusing "love" with "a willingness to be manipulated"?
God, if you beleive that, don't have kids.
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Exactly!
Whether you agree or disagree, it's really good to have your ideas of a loving relationship defined in your mind....to know what your personal definition of love and loving is.
The concept of insulating oneself from emotional contagion is called emotional detachment. This is likely a result of trauma.
Knowing your roll in a relationship, and recognizing your partner's role, will certainly better the odds for survival. Not to get all clinical and analytical every day, but to step back and see the big picture and evaluate the healthiness of the relationship is an important exercise.
Otherwise, years and years of blindness could lead to wasted time, suffering, frustration, hurt, confusion, sense of unfairness.
Just being aware is important. IMHO.
If you are aware, and happy in the roles of both partners, then all is right with the world. If there is any dissatisfaction, it's good to acknowledge it, and suggest working together to overcome the stumbling blocks, and if they refuse, decide how much you will tolerate or if you should move on.
We need to acknowledge the strengths and weaknesses of a loving relationship, and even in fact if there is love, and not just need.
I hope we can all make healthy informed choices, but still succumb to stars in our eyes, flutters in our hearts, intoxication of romance, wishful dreams, thrills, desires, lust, excitement, fun, intrique, etc. of a new relationship....but as it goes forth, just check your bearings from time to time.
If the yin/yan is out of whack, taking into account the back and forthing of leading/following, then you should decide if your partner is detached to the point of neglect/abuse, or indeed if you are.