[Stormieweather]

I apologise if I came across as self-righteous. That was not my intent. I admire each and every individual who has the willpower to fight alcoholism, whether it be via AA meetings or any other method.

I merely meant that, for me, a 'higher power' was not what worked. I had religion crammed down my throat (and beaten into my body) my entire childhood. A large part of what I despise are the teachings that we sinners are completely at the mercy of Satan and our own weak souls and without begging for the intervention of God/a higher power, we are doomed. I refuse to believe that I am that pitiful. But that's just my personal viewpoint. It does however, prevent me from using 12 step programs that require turning yourself over to a higher power.

Oh yes, I am an alcoholic. I didn't have one more drink at the bar before closing time, oh no. I had to take a 12 pack home with me because I wasn't done until I could no longer stand up or I passed out. Not just on Saturday nights, mind you. Every single night. For years. I drank to numb myself and to feel good/happy/attractive. As long as I was the life of the party and totally stewed, I never had to face my inner demons.

I was not implying that everyone should do (or be able to do) what I did. Not at all. Each person has his/her own pathway to the desired result. But I don't see why the efforts of someone who did it differently than the standard AA should be minimalized and trivialized.

Stormie