The last one reminded me of a story about my husband's late grandmother. Apparently she had been using black spray paint, and being like most from the depression era, didn't want to waste any. So, she went into the house, and attempted to open the bottom of the can with a can opener
.
Needless to say, the kitchen cupboards and ceiling had to be repainted, and the carpet replaced.
(I'll never understand carpet in a kitchen) I can only imagine what
she looked like. Lucky she didn't hurt herself...