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Originally Posted by Elspode
It sounds to me as though you have trepidation over being with the guy, but you're afraid that you'd be doing something harmful *to him* by not hanging in there.
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That sounds pretty well it. I am experiencing trepidation, not because of who he is or anything that he has done, but because of the fact that he hasn't been working the whole time I have known him - goes back to unstability of jobs with a parental figure while growing up. I don't want to hurt him, I know how much he has been through, but I think that I am being honest with him and telling him that quite frankly, I don't know what I want right now.
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Originally Posted by Elspode
If he had the same dedication or concern for you and your well-being, would he *be* in jail?
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Yes, because anything that has to do with this are consequences from whatever was going on before I met him. Since we have been stable together, he has done nothing detrimental (sp?) to the situation.
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Originally Posted by Elspode
Would you have felt the need to reach out here on The Cellar and bring up the subject? Clearly, you seek some support, so it would seem to follow that the boyfriend is causing some disharmony in your mind.
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The other reason I seek advice here is because I do value the opinions expressed. They seemed a bit more open minded than the people I call my friends. Only one comes to mind that would not persecute at the first mention of jail.
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Originally Posted by Elspode
Now...as to "running away"...are we talking just striking out as a self-sufficient individual, or are you very young and finding yourself in the position of having trashed things at home over the guy, and have seen no alternative but to split? If this was your first relationship, it would be logical to assume that you are probably rather young, and so that begs the question of your current circumstances. Place to live? Job? Are you safe?
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I am kind of young - 26, so it is more striking out on my own. I have done nothing that would prevent me from going back or made me feel the need to leave other than I hadn't been away from home and me and my BF were in a not so good place at the time. Seemed like a good time to go. Little did I know that we would work everything out in the months before I left.
I do have a short-term lease, short-term job and all that stuff. I am safe and have made friends that will assure that.
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Originally Posted by Elspode
All in all, it sounds to me as though you are trying to look out for yourself, and that isn't a bad thing as long as you aren't using others badly to do that.
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I try to be good to everyone
You know, its funny, I could have tried to explain all this to the "important" people in my life until I was blue in the face and they wouldn't have understood as well as you did in a few short paragraphs!! Kind a creepy how well you can pinpoint everything so well
