The Cellar - View Single Post - Why Can't Men Say the Things We Women Need to Hear?

yesman065 · 07-05-2006, 08:18 AM

Well I must say MsSparkie you said:
I wanted to be cherished and adored.
I wanted to feel his strength and masculinity.
I wanted a great lover who loves to please me.
I wanted to feel respected.
I wanted to be gathered up in his strong arms.
I wanted him to tell me what he's feeling. When he did - Did you listen Did you actually hear what he said or did you infer and assume what you thought he said? More so did you hear just the parts that you wanted to hear and miss the rest of what he said?
I wanted him to feel like I'm the best thing in his life. How did you know what he was or wasn't feeling???? Perhaps he felt this way and you totally misconstrued what he said and how he said it.
I wanted him to love me with all his heart. How do you know he wasn't?

To me its more like we speak different languages at times and cannot seem to find the common ground to actually LISTEN to what we each are saying. Men tend to be rather blunt and more direct than women - very literal in their communication. Women, on the other hand, tend to be very VERY vague and hint around as to what they mean assuming their man is going to pick up on what they really mean without the woman actually saying it. This difference in communication is, to me, the root cause of more fights, arguments, frustrations and eventually break-ups than anything else. It always comes out to "He doesn't understand me" or "He doesn't listen to me." I think the best advice I was ever given was for all of us to actually say what you are thinking and don't assume your partner is a mind reader.
Men are typically very simple beings. Much more like dogs than cats - in that we are loyal to a fault, yet when harassed - - - -bite deep.

07-05-2006, 08:18 AM	#2
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Well I must say MsSparkie you said: I wanted to be cherished and adored. I wanted to feel his strength and masculinity. I wanted a great lover who loves to please me. I wanted to feel respected. I wanted to be gathered up in his strong arms. I wanted him to tell me what he's feeling. When he did - Did you listen Did you actually hear what he said or did you infer and assume what you thought he said? More so did you hear just the parts that you wanted to hear and miss the rest of what he said? I wanted him to feel like I'm the best thing in his life. How did you know what he was or wasn't feeling???? Perhaps he felt this way and you totally misconstrued what he said and how he said it. I wanted him to love me with all his heart. How do you know he wasn't? To me its more like we speak different languages at times and cannot seem to find the common ground to actually LISTEN to what we each are saying. Men tend to be rather blunt and more direct than women - very literal in their communication. Women, on the other hand, tend to be very VERY vague and hint around as to what they mean assuming their man is going to pick up on what they really mean without the woman actually saying it. This difference in communication is, to me, the root cause of more fights, arguments, frustrations and eventually break-ups than anything else. It always comes out to "He doesn't understand me" or "He doesn't listen to me." I think the best advice I was ever given was for all of us to actually say what you are thinking and don't assume your partner is a mind reader. Men are typically very simple beings. Much more like dogs than cats - in that we are loyal to a fault, yet when harassed - - - -bite deep.