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DanaC · 07-01-2006, 01:39 PM

LoL Ibram:P

Tse, I think I agree; the origional scans better. That's what you get with 3 am rewrites I guess:P

I also think on reflection I need to alter the third verse. All the others have repetition on the last two lines except that one. Means it doesn't quite scan.

Thanks for the feedback! I shall go off and have a think about verse three a little more and change the last verse back to its original form.

07-01-2006, 01:39 PM	#4
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	LoL Ibram:P Tse, I think I agree; the origional scans better. That's what you get with 3 am rewrites I guess:P I also think on reflection I need to alter the third verse. All the others have repetition on the last two lines except that one. Means it doesn't quite scan. Thanks for the feedback! I shall go off and have a think about verse three a little more and change the last verse back to its original form.