[AlternateGray]

There's a little more to this than just what I've gone through with my wife. I was raised mostly by my grandparents. My grandmother' first husband was an alcoholic who couldn't hold down a job or support his family. They divorced in the 60's, and she remarried. A few years ago my grandmother confessed to some of us (she apparently felt a great deal of guilt) that she had married my step-grandfather solely for the reasons that he had a decent job, was stable, wasn't all that smart, and she could control him, unlike her first husband, who she loved dearly but couldn't deal with. She'd been lying to her second husband for 30 years, every time she told him she loved him... and the guilt was eating her. I love my grandmother, but I'd grown up watching this man work his ass off, to come home to a wife who treated him coldly, and often poorly. She flat out didn't like him, she never did, and you can only hide that so much. He was rarely happy, and he looked as confused as I felt sometimes when she'd lash out at him. Whether he was miserable or not never seemed to matter to her, so long as she got her way.
He gave his life, and let's be honest, his happiness, to a lie. A bald-faced fucking lie, designed to keep him working like a mule so my grandmother and her kids would be comfortable.
I felt sorry for him, and even though I love him, I couldn't help but... I don't know, he gave almost his entire life to someone who thought he was a shmuck. And treated him like it.
I was disgusted with both of them at heart, and swore I'd never be that stupid. I'd never let a woman treat me like that, or use me for my money. I would never, ever be somebody's fucking mule. I'm worth way more than that.
Ha. Apparently not. There's more than a little bit of irony here (I married my damn grandma!WTF?!), and while I feel like twice the dupe he ever was (after all, I had his example to warn me), what truly enrages me is the fact that my stepdaughter is caught in the middle of all this. And there's no good solution. I will not follow in my grandfather's footsteps.
I haven't been able to get ahold of my wife for a couple weeks. I've sent e-mails, I've sent IMs... I'd call her, but my phone card's empty; I'd buy another one but shockingly enough my bank accounts are empty. As usual. I've finally arranged to borrow someone's card so I can call her next chance I get. I'm secretly, childishly hoping she got tired of her spending limit (i.e., my entire check and hers) and ran off with a sugardaddy. But I know she won't do that. Part of the reason she chose me, I think, is much for the same reason my grandmother chose my grandfather. Easy to control, and I (USED TO) put up with shit that most men would not. No matter though, I take leave in July, and if nothing else I'll resolve this then.