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Apologies for the length of this reply...
Have you tried NLP? (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Quite a few people use it for commercial/corporate purposes, i.e. sales training, interpersonal skills, blah-blah-blah. It has another use, however. It can be used for pain and stress management. Now before you think this is just some kind of commercial...
A short story: I have degenerative arthritis in my spine which, with repeated injuries, caused me to blow out two disks. One merely herniated, while the other ruptured and took a piece of my spine with it. A bone shard the size of a pencil lead was pushed into my sciatic nerve which in turn lit me up like a Christmas tree. I had pain that would give me tunnel vision, knock me out and then wake me back up again, weeping like a damned baby. In addition, I have an unnaturally strong resistance to toxins which unfortunately means that things like pain killers, alcohol, and (gack!) even weed, tend to have dramatically lowered effects on me. (to all those who are about to tell me "you just haven't had good weed" please be aware that Yes Goddamit!, I have! It just doesn't work.) Now, because of all this, I was overdosing on 800mg Vicadin and chasing the OD's with three finger screwdrivers, and this would give me maybe 20 minutes of relief. In fact, I gave myself chemical hepatitis and had to detox so I could have surgery. Doc said I would have killed myself in pretty short order at the rate I was going.
The point of this rambling sob story is that most of the time, I had to grit my teeth deal with it, for months on end. Subsequently, I tried any number of ways to get the pain under control. I ended up using some meditative breathing techniques that, I found out later, appear to fall under the category of NLP. It helped. To be frank, I'm still never without some degree of pain, I just process it better these days.
Disclaimer! - I am NOT selling this. Nor am I specifically endorsing any form of commercial NLP techniques as most of it is promoted as corporate Ra-Ra bullshit. NLP is, as far as I'm concerned a *category* of pain management that has been useful for some. It's worth checking into even if it only manages to point you in the direction of something that helps.
rkzenrage, I feel for you, I really do. I wont offer sympathy, as I know how sour that is when you're going through this kind of stuff, but I will offer you all my best. I'll be rooting for you.
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