I always feel better when the sun shines
I really do.
I've decided that I take myself far too seriously in many regards and not serious enough in matters that really...uh, matter. I vaklempt endlessly about whether some jerk likes me or not (when how does that matter or affect my life in any real way?) yet I am v. offhand and causal about my recovery life. This is backwards, no?
My first step in changing this up is to eat way, waaaay better, sleep well (avoid paranoid, traumatized fantasies right before sleep) get a bit of recovery-speak from
somewhere (god, I hate those people, but maybe could go to Online Recovery community and not have to actually be in their presence?) and read recovery material on daily basis. Maybe, just maybe, I might BEGIN to recover. All my angst is merely addiction-based bullshit and I need to get over it before I turn 80.
Anyway--next time anyone feels like looking into the abyss--just don't. have a cuppa instead and think about something else. ANYTHING else.
I watched INTERVENTION last night and it ripped my heart out. God, addicts can be a PITA.