glatt: Ill deffinitely do some research. I can understand your point of view, and Im sure there are plenty of people who move in together aren't serious about it. I just also believe that there are plenty, like yourself, who move in together to make sure their life styles are compatable. I know I love my boyfriend, but wouldn't want to marry him and THEN find out all the crap about him that I found out when we first moved in together. I found that I could deal with those quirks and changes but some people may not have...and I think its better to "test the waters" before taking the plunge.
Hopefully I can find some statistics that break it down beyond just moving in together before marriage. Im sure there are a lot of other factors... like age, and how long they lived together, financial situation, whether or not the couple had children, etc.
******************************edit
Okay, so Im looking around. I deffinitely see the research you are referring to.
"Ironically, the divorce rate among those who once lived together is higher than among those who have not. Experts say that is often because those who choose to cohabit are not great believers in marriage in the first place"
So, you are deffinitely right on the statistics. But that doesn't mean it cant work if both people are actually commited to the relationship.
Can you imagine if all those people who lived together rather than getting married actually just got married? Eeek... That would mean even more divorces. I highly doubt that those who lived together then got married and then got divorced, wouldn't have gotten divorced if they had gotten married without living together first. So... the cohabitation before marriage is not a deciding factor, maybe just an indicator. IMO.
One peice of research from Rutgers states that not only does living together before marriage increas the risk of breaking up after marriage, but it increases the risk of domestic violence, and physical and sexual abuse for children... I just don't see how living together before marriage and domestic violence and child abuse are linked...makes no sense to me...
I really don't know. Damn statistics foiled me.