[Elspode]

Oh, good...the thread has skewed to birthday stuff not related to Cellar Dwellars. It is the perfect time to share this, then.

Today is my son's 25th birthday. How strange it is to think that he is now the age I was when he was born. Stranger still is his difficult life, and how he reacts to it. I often get emails from him lamenting his lot, but today, being his birthday, perhaps I felt the need to respond with a bit more empathy, with something that might communicate my admiration and love for him. What follows is his email, and then my reply.

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From Stephen: "You know what dad, I'm 25 years old but my brain sometimes still feels like I'm still 21 or 18 years old.....why? I know what to do at home, bills, food, cleaning up shit around here, always remembering to give clifton his gas money and other things that I have to do or things you and mom needs me to do if you ask. But I still feel like I'm 18 or 21 Y.O., why?

Maybe I'm being scared of being older or something like that, I don't know father, I don't know."
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"Happy Birthday, son. We all feel a bit reflective and odd when we gain another year, and it is perfectly natural to reflect on where we are at on those days. Try and remember that you are lucky to be alive and living a mostly normal life at all, Steve. We were so close to losing you, so close to having you be an invalid for the rest of your life. You are a miraculous human being who, despite his difficulties, is proof that there is magick and mercy in the Universe. You are a living miracle.

Steve, you are always going to have to work harder than a so-called normal person in order to just get along day to day. Your troubles are going to be many, and your triumphs probably few. You will probably never be wealthy, but you will always be rich...rich in people who love and care about you, and rich with life and a future that will unfold as it should.

It is alright to reflect upon yourself, but don't get down on yourself; don't compare yourself to others. You have little in common with people who haven't endured what you have endured. You cannot judge your life by anyone else's standards. You can only strive each day to do the best that you can. If you know inside yourself that you have given all you have to give each day, you will be rewarded in ways that you may not even understand.

We all love you son, and we are all proud of you. You are an extraordinary person, and you needn't feel badly about yourself in any way."