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We are tough on our kids. Don't get me wrong - they aren't perfect, and they fuck up on a regular basis.
Whenever we catch them doing something really bad (sneaking out, smoking, etc..) we make them call everybody in the family to tell them what they have done.
I know it sounds shitty, but if my sister is going to trust my daughter to babysit her kids, she needs to know that my daughter has a habit of sneaking out. Or if I've found that one of my kids steals something from anywhere, my friends & family need to know - that way my kid knows they are being watched.
My family tends to coddle my kids and make excuses for them when they do something wrong, but I really don't think that does them any favors.
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