The Cellar - View Single Post - Why is my teen-age daughter stealing?...

Brett's Honey · 04-20-2006, 01:12 AM

OKKKAAYYY...

Yes, Tonchi, you are absolutely right. Thank you for pointing out the now so very obvious. I had to go through a little - what - fuck you - what do you know - damn, she's right - thing there.
Being at that tough tender age, without a mother, Ashley is hard to dal with sometimes - I get the "Be my Mom" thing, then when I act like her Mom and she doesn't like what I say or do, I get the "You're NOT my Mom!" thing. But she's the kid and I'm the adult.
We do need to re-group here. I know my husband and I are concerned about how we deal with her for reasons of our own, I am very close to my son and don't want her to feel "left out". The hubby just doesn't want her to decide she wants to live elsewhere like his oldest did at 15. He adopted her (his other daughter) when she was 3, when he married her Mom. After she moved out of our house, (because it was the WORST place to be!) she lived with her aunt, biological Dad, grandma, aunt again, and then wanted to come back home. Wasn't the worst after all! Turns out everybody has rules for 15 yr olds! We're closer with her now than ever (she's 18).
Ashley always got a little spoiled because of what she went through when she was six. Her and her sister witnessed their Mom being strangled, and they too, almost died, in the house fire that followed. They spent 6 hours scared, hiding,naked, still with hands tied up, outside in the snow, after their Mom's murder. Very traumatic. But as far as that event is concerned, they are doing fantastic, kids do bounce back amazingly, but of course with scars. She just needs to be treated like what she is now - a normal 14 yr old. Who needs diciplined, of course. And I've read many places that kids with rules and structure are happier and feel more loved and secure.
Thanks, Tonchi, and everyone else, for sharing your advice and wisdom.

04-20-2006, 01:12 AM	#22
Brett's Honey whatever Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 308	OKKKAAYYY... Yes, Tonchi, you are absolutely right. Thank you for pointing out the now so very obvious. I had to go through a little - what - fuck you - what do you know - damn, she's right - thing there. Being at that tough tender age, without a mother, Ashley is hard to dal with sometimes - I get the "Be my Mom" thing, then when I act like her Mom and she doesn't like what I say or do, I get the "You're NOT my Mom!" thing. But she's the kid and I'm the adult. We do need to re-group here. I know my husband and I are concerned about how we deal with her for reasons of our own, I am very close to my son and don't want her to feel "left out". The hubby just doesn't want her to decide she wants to live elsewhere like his oldest did at 15. He adopted her (his other daughter) when she was 3, when he married her Mom. After she moved out of our house, (because it was the WORST place to be!) she lived with her aunt, biological Dad, grandma, aunt again, and then wanted to come back home. Wasn't the worst after all! Turns out everybody has rules for 15 yr olds! We're closer with her now than ever (she's 18). Ashley always got a little spoiled because of what she went through when she was six. Her and her sister witnessed their Mom being strangled, and they too, almost died, in the house fire that followed. They spent 6 hours scared, hiding,naked, still with hands tied up, outside in the snow, after their Mom's murder. Very traumatic. But as far as that event is concerned, they are doing fantastic, kids do bounce back amazingly, but of course with scars. She just needs to be treated like what she is now - a normal 14 yr old. Who needs diciplined, of course. And I've read many places that kids with rules and structure are happier and feel more loved and secure. Thanks, Tonchi, and everyone else, for sharing your advice and wisdom. Last edited by Brett's Honey; 04-20-2006 at 01:35 AM.