Thread: Adoption
View Single Post
Old 04-17-2006, 08:01 PM   #6
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
I did a fair amount of research on adoption before I finally managed to conceive. Overall, I found that while it's certainly possible to languish on the domestic waiting list for years and years, most places claim an average of about a one-year wait for an infant under 1 year. To get a newborn, however, it seems you almost have to consider some sort of "openness" to the adoption. In a lot of cases this was nothing more than sending a yearly photo and letter to the agency, who would pass it on to the mother--but in other cases the birth mothers wanted regular visits, basically forever. I don't know how you feel about that, but I was not okay with it.

Overseas can go faster, but most of them will not let the baby leave the orphanage at less than 6 months old. The process will still take at least 6 months to a year, and usually two separate 2-week long visits to the country in question are required. In general, the process seems to be smoother and more reliable with Asian countries. I know of two couples who tried to adopt from Eastern European countries, and both ended up with a bait-and-switch situation: they were sent a photo of an adorable 2-month-old baby who was "ready to be placed with them," but once they flew out there they were told that the baby in question had been taken back by relatives, but they were welcome to consider any other child in the orphanage--all of whom were four years or older. (As the orphanage was probably banking on, both couples went ahead and adopted 4-year-olds, who had varying success in adapting to their new language and country.)

It can definitely be a wonderful experience, either domestic or international--I think the key in both situations is to really do your research on the agency and make sure they're reputable.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote