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.....and darn few of us here on The Cellar are truly qualified to say much more than that.
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I wholeheartedly agree, I have no answer but I do have a question.
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After she was left with a single dad, this girls' mother has always gone out of her way to do special things for Ashley, like taking her with them to get their hair cut and highlighted, shopping for a first bra, the girlie things that Dads aren't always that good at. And frequently buying her things. And she stole a ton of stuff from them!! And apparently its not the first time.
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It sounds like she became part of their family for some time, so I wonder if she, at least in her mind, was testing them to see if she still is. Maybe trying to find out if they really cared or just pity-ed her.
You might bring that up with a professional.
Sorry you're in a tough spot........hopefully your love, effort and patience will pay you big, big dividends....all of you.