[Lt]

<rant>
In a world where marriage is either just steady dating made official (in other words an excuse for a party) or a business deal, it's good to see that people who know the meaning of commitment still exist.

I hope (in vain I expect, cynical git that I am) that anyone hearing these people's story will pause and think for a moment (even be inspired) before setting out on that ever shortening road to divorce.

I don't give a shit whether your marriage succeeds or not, you're adults and you make your own choices; whether they make you miserable or not they ARE your own choices.

I do give a shit about the products of that marriage.

If you WANT to be married and have children, and are prepared for a lifetime of sacrificing what you want for what your family needs, go ahead.

If you're doing it because he or she nagged you into it (backed up by the threat of splitting up) then tell them to fuck off and wait until you do want it. If you do fall for it at least don't have children until you are sure it is what BOTH you and your partner wants.

Trying to convince a partner you think is having doubts about a marriage by having kids in the hope it will switch them round to your way of thinking is also not an option. It's desperate, cynical and grossly unfair on the partner and the resulting children.

Having seen both my parents divorced twice and two of my three sisters divorced once (I'll leave the friends out, I lost count) I know too well the pain inflicted on the real victims (children) of divorce.

Anyone ever wonder how society got so fucked up? How did dumb rap singers or hippies preaching violence and drugs get a hold of our kids? The parents.

Specifically, parents too willing to sit their kids in front of the magic lantern or boom box so they could do their own thing. Selfish assholes who like the idea of projecting a certain respectable image while pursuing their own (not their families' interests.)

The saddest part of this is the fact that being responsible for a child's upbringing, seeing the results of your own efforts, watching your child develop into an individual and guiding them along the way is the BIGGEST buzz ever (so long as you don't expect them to turn out a certain way: they never do.)

No matter how drunk/high (or whatever grills your cheese) or how many times you achieve that noble state, nothing compares to seeing your own offspring thrive and develop their own personality. It's just not instant, you need to realize this if you're contemplating marriage.

Oh, yes, it's also not fair if you only want to share in the good bits either. It's fucking hard work like any other job and passing the nappy changing duties to your partner is not a good omen for them or your child.

I suspect these two people have had an equal share of baby shit.
</rant>

PS If this is a little rambling it's been a long day. I just couldn't go to bed without commenting.

I hope those folks have as long together again.