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Originally Posted by Clodfobble
Oh, pretty darn rarely, I would guess. Like you said, most people getting divorced can't agree on anything. Even if they start the process with the best intentions, a lot of people can be convinced by friends and lawyers that they're being taken advantage of or need to get nasty to get "what they deserve". Anecdotally, I think perth and case had a mutually-agreed on situation set up for their son, with very little court involvement. It's really the best way to go about it, but not a lot of people can pull it off. Most women aren't capable of freely letting their ex care for the children for any amount of time, even when they openly admit he's a perfectly good parent.
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Mutual agreement in divorce is a rarety. Perth and I were lucky we were able to put our anger and differences aside long enough to make the agreements we did. I remember being a minority in a state ordered "parenting through divorce" class where women were asking "how do I keep my ex from seeing my kid?" and "how do I get a restraining order so I can get custody" and men asking "How do I keep her from letting her boyfriend around my kid?" I feel sorry for the kids caught in these situations, as well as the parents. The kids really are the only ones who truly suffer lasting consequences, though. I would suppose a lot of the adults out there crying "why did my daddy leave me?" were once children caught in these situations. Sure, there are a good number of dads that don't want any involvement in their kids' lives, but from all of the divorced dads I have known, that is also a rarety. The system is just so screwed up, that alot of them don't even bother, knowing they will be throwing good child support money to try and get a couple more nights a year with their kid.
I swear, I would love to get more involved in father's rights issues if I could only get through and into law school.