Glad you came back, spavalica.
It's mind over matter.....if you don't mind, it don't matter. But obviously, you do mind so I guess it does matter. Also obvious, you're not going to tell her to pound sand.
How about when she says, "Well You Better!", or something similar, you say, "What? What did you say?". Make her repeat it so others (he) can hear. Then he's got to choose..... put up or shut up.
Really, you've got to choose, since the situation is intolerable, either confront him/her/them or run away. The situation isn't going to change, at least not for the better, unless you make it change.