There is no situation where one coworker should "pay" another directly. If tips are shared, they are collected by a boss/manager and then redistributed. Either the kitchen staff is trying to scam you into just giving them money, or the boss is scamming them by not actually giving them the 20% she is withholding from you. Either way, it isn't really possible for you to prove anything unless you have access to the bookkeeping, which I'm sure you don't. It's the kitchen staff's problem--if they're not getting paid, they should talk to the boss.
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