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Originally Posted by dar512
Don't buy into this, Iggy. The correct answer to that question is, "for your own self-respect." It sounds like she's trying to make you responsible for her not changing.
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This is exactly what she is doing, and I know it. And I tell her that she is trying to blame me for her actions. I did not tell her to do drugs. I always told her not to, and pointed to the way our dad is living and asking her if that is what she wants. She of course says no and that she wants a better life. But then she decides she would rather have the instant gratification of getting high, so she does that instead of looking for a job.
I never believe for a second that I am the root of her problems, or in any way responsible. But I do know she will use my distrust as an excuse and I choose not to give her fragile mind the fuel for her delusions. She knows that I keep everything locked up and it is because I don't trust her not to steal. But she also knows that it is all she ever does and I am not without reason to believe as I do.
But when she does good I praise her and tell her that I knew she could do it, even if I had my doubts. My main worry then is how long she will keep on the clean road. It is never for very long. I think 8 months is the longest, and since I wasn't around all the time then it is possible she was doing things and others did not notice. I know her behavior when she is using and I know she is using now.
She just got out of jail and started using again. She was there for 6 months so I really doubt there is any physical addiction now. It is just her mental dependancy to the drugs and her desire to continue doing them.
I know what you mean about an alcoholic not "liking" what they are doing, but I think I have to agree with wolf that she like what she is doing. I know that she enjoys the high. It is the after affects she doesn't like. So to minimize her experience with the consequences of her actions she does more drugs. It is a vicious cycle.
She also tells me she will never quit drinking or smoking pot. She doesn't think she needs to. She has expressed interest in stopping shooting up coke and snorting meth and as far as I know she has stopped this for the most part. Now she is taking Zanex (sp?) and pills like that instead. It is all part of her addiction.
She uses everything that goes bad as an excuse to do drugs. I know she has to be upset at what has happened in the past but I don't feel it is justification to ruin her life now. She isn't ready to quit. I don't think she will ever be ready to quit. She has told me that she almost died on a couple of occasions from an overdose, and has a friend go to the emergency room for an overdose before. She know she is playing with fire but chooses not to stop. I don't know how to make her stop, and there isn't any way I can make her that would have any lasting affect. She needs help but won't be able to get any until she acknowledges her problem.