[Iggy]

I think the genetics has something to do with it, and also why I doubt she will ever change. My dad is similar to her with his addictions but he hides it much better. He doesn't act like her most of the time but he almost never comes through with commitments. He also starts jobs (he is an electrician) and never finishes them. He can't hold down a job because of this.

I love them both, and I can deal with my dad much easier but I cannot trust his promises. It sucks but there isn't anything I can do about it. My sister always says that if we don't believe she can change, why should she? She needs to prove us right. So lately I have been trying to be very supportive with her and willing to help to see if it will make a difference. But I won't give her any money to help her habit. I also keep everything of value locked up when she is around so she can't steal it to get drugs.

My mom was the opposite of them but she died of a heart attack at 43 so she isn't around. I am like her more than my dad and sister but she isn't around to keep them in line. The drugs and everything got much worse when she died.

Part of the reason my sister is so disgusted by herself is that the last thing she ever said to my mom was "dig yourself a grave and rot in it." They hadn't spoke for a couple days when she died of the heart attack, out of the blue. She feels really guiltly for her actions, and I don't blame her. But I don't really know how to build her self esteem up so that she can quit her habits. And becuase my dad is in his fifties and still doing all the drugs and acting irresponsibly, it is hard for me to hold out hope that she is going to change.

I do need to go to the Al-anon meetings to help me deal with her. Hopefully soon I will be able to attend some and then I can start doing what needs to be done, if there is anything that can be done. Thanks again for your advice.