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Originally Posted by Iggy
Well, I also have to wonder if it has anything to do with her massive drug habit. That can mess someone up too... As far as I know she has slowed down, but some damage has to be permanent.
I would really like for her to get some help, but she won't do it. She doesn't want to hear what she thinks they will have to say. I was just surprised that maybe there was something actually wrong with her (other than the drugs) and it wasn't just her awful personality.
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Addicts/alcoholics often display symptoms that mimic those of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. Needless to say, this is because the addict's only allegiance is to their drug of choice which makes them act in incredibly selfish ways. An addict will sacrifice family, friends, career, and ultimately themselves on the alter of their addiction.
Narcissists can also become addicts or alcoholics. In fact, this is not uncommon, because deep within their core, narcissists are filled with self loathing. They also realize that they are profoundly different than most other people around them. The last thing a narcissist wants to do is to look at these issues. Actually, narcissism is really a defense mechanism that keeps a badly damaged, almost non-existent sense of self from falling inward and imploding. Drugs and alcohol are great for keeping self awareness at bay.
The only way to tell for sure if someone is just a plain old garden variety addict or alcoholic, and
not an NPD, is for them to clean up or sober up. The personality that then emerges may be that of a perfectly wonderful human being with a few hang ups - no different than any of the rest of us. Or you may get a sober version of reptilicus - not pretty!
The highest estimate I have come across for percentage of narcissists/psychopaths in the general population is around 10%. Thus, just going by statistics alone, chances are that your sister's problems revolve more around her drug habit than a personality disorder.
Alas, you cannot force her to sober up. Only she can decide for herself that is fed up with the addiction and start going to NA/AA and possibly treatment of some sort.
It might be helpful for you to check out some local Al-Anon meetings. You can't changer her, but you can change YOUR response to her.
Good luck!