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A really ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids. The shopkeeper asks, "Are they twins?"
The woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No," he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
- George Carlin
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