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Lookout, you don't know me, but this thread is just heartbreaking, and for what it's worth, my $0.02:
Depressed people hate themselves, and your wife certainly sounds like she's depressed. If you hate yourself, you develop a certain contempt for people who adore you. I suspect this is at least part of what's happening.
Continue with the counselling. But, at the same time, get a lawyer immediately and protect your assets. Refuse to move out. After all, she's the one who wants to be alone. She should be the one living in a cramped apartment, not you. Finally, I'd say you should connect how you treat her to her behavior. Don't be sweet and kind to her when she's feeding you all kinds of bullshit about never loving you or your not making enough money. Get mad; or freeze her out. Be selfish. It might suddenly hit her that, no, she can't count on your unconditional love for all eternity, and that you won't carry a torch for her forever after she's gone.
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