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Griff - I totally understand where you are coming from. My co-worker from our Washington office has a child who is retarded, and when we come down there for business we often get together for dinner. We are very good friends, so I always ask her to bring her kids along, since we don't need some stuffy business dinner.
I can't tell you how livid I get to see other diners staring, or glaring....etc.
My co-worker always suggests certain restaurants, and it took me a while to realize it was to minimize the focus on her child. It's usually noisy buffet type places rather than the quiet formal restaurants. She always says "I can get a sitter if you want", but I always let her know that I am more than happy to have dinner with them (her husband works nights, so a normal night is just her and the girls). I know that it's fun for the kids to get out now & then, and I enjoy their company.
Now, if she indicated that she wanted to go out for a "grownup dinner" I would be just as fine with that too.
Anyway, to get back to the issue - I can't stand it when people act as though there's some special bubble that protects the child & her family & friends from noticing the stares, the shrugs while looking at others, the snickers..... the pity looks..... the list goes on and on.
In your case, does that asshole think that the mom didn't hear him call the child a retard? If he hoped that she heard it, what the fuck was he trying to prove?
I applaud you for holding your tongue. I don't know if I could have.
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