Well done, Beestie.
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She tried to transfer responsibility to him by bringing up every reason in the book - he doesn't make enough money, he isn't this, he isn't that, blah, blah, blah. He never understood why she never told him any of this during the 20 years they were married and raised two kids.
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Good point. No matter what his shortcomings have been in the past, if she hasn't at least brought them up for discussion, they are moot.
I hear people talking about how they, or their friends, were blindsided, and lament the past xx years being taken away. But that's not true..... nothing chages the past. It's the future, that you've been planning, working toward, looking forward to, that's being snatched away. You've been suddenly voted off the island and have to start over toward a new goal. That always sucks.