The Cellar - View Single Post

Cyclefrance · 11-07-2005, 02:57 AM

The Cellarites increasingly packed limo sped towards Cyclefrance (luckily it was an instantly-adjustable stretch limo which made it possible to accommodate all these extra occupants), who was busily trying to work out what the strange object he was holding actually, well, was. He'd seen it poking out of the bunch of onions that he always had strapped either side of his handlebars. His memory was getting bad - for the life of him, he couldn't remember when he'd put those onions there, or for that matter why, but he was sure he hadn't included this object. There was some writing on the side. He started to read: The Omega Fully Patented Space Time....-

At this precise moment a lot of shouting coming from the limousine caused Cyclefrance to look up. 'What a noisy bunch,’ he thought – ‘strange looking dog....Hey, wait a minute!’ one of them seemed to be shaking a fist at him and shouting as well...

The car sped past, xoxoxoBruce's words rising and fading the way they do when a fast car goes by (you know a bit like when a police car goes by with its siren blaring). and, unfortunately for Cyclefrance, he had managed to break the cyclist's golden rule by stopping immediately adjacent to a large puddle left by the recent storm.

A wall of water gracefully rose from the roadside as the limo passed, seemed to hang in the air for the merest fraction of a second, as if pondering whether to complete its intended finale or not, then the decision having been taken, it proceeded to cascade in one huge gush all over Cyclefrance (quite beautiful in away, although Cyclefrance didn't quite appreciate this...)

Distilla-t-i-on...( he looked up) bla-. He didn't quite finish. In fact he found himself saying something else, and quite loudly, in the direction of the limousine:

'You fucking basta-'

This just wasn't Cyclefrance's night! A huge Hummer sped past at that very second, just as the storm water had re-gathered itself into a nice big puddle again.

SPURRRRRALASSSSHHHH!

'..r-d-s!????'

Right, thought CF, that's it, a cyclist can take so much. He threw his bike to the ground, and grabbed the Distillation Blaster resting it upon his shoulder and gazed through the sight-piece, pointing it towards the distant Hummer. 'My God it seems a hell of a way away' he said to himself, and he pressed the 'fire' button (handily marked ‘fire button’ - useful that). A laser blast (naturally) of pure energy shot from the blaster. Unfortunately, this was in the opposite direction to the one he had intended, as Cyclfrance had the thing the wrong way round.

'Oops!' A grand old oak tree, just about to celebrate two hundred years of existence and feeling very proud of itself as a result suddenly disappeared in a flash of quite astounding brilliance.

Seems it was not his night either.

‘Oh, dear…!’ Cyclefrance looked at the blaster whose strap still hung around his shoulder,’that wasn’t meant to happ-’

Sun Sparkz, clad in a very fetching all-in-one red leather biker’s number shot past CF, missing the puddle (such a nice girl), but unfortunately catching the blaster’s strap in her handle bar.

‘Werrerrerggh – oh!’ Cyclefrance found himself behind Sun Sparkz and astride the pillion seat.

‘Hi CF – messed that up a bit didn’t you – you’d better give the blaster to me in a moment, hang on!

And she gunned her flame red (color co-ordination is so important) Kawasaki 636 towards the Hummer at speed, an extremely damp CF, and a trailing line of onions behind (yes, they had somehow got caught up in CF’s apparel as well!)

The on-board stereo of Sparkz’s bike (well, a girl can’t do without music now, can she) thumped away – it was N.E.R.D: ‘She's sexy!! Her youth ... She's sexy!!.’

‘Oh, I say, this is rather nice..’

‘For you, maybe (CF noticed an Australian twang to her words) – I don’t mind you holding on like that – but don’t go getting any ideas – and do your hands really have to be that high?? – Take it easy, cobber, we’ve more important things to do - we’ve a world to save!’

And she turned the accelerator grip even further, adding another 20 mph to their already phenomenal speed…

11-07-2005, 02:57 AM	#13
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	The Cellarites increasingly packed limo sped towards Cyclefrance (luckily it was an instantly-adjustable stretch limo which made it possible to accommodate all these extra occupants), who was busily trying to work out what the strange object he was holding actually, well, was. He'd seen it poking out of the bunch of onions that he always had strapped either side of his handlebars. His memory was getting bad - for the life of him, he couldn't remember when he'd put those onions there, or for that matter why, but he was sure he hadn't included this object. There was some writing on the side. He started to read: The Omega Fully Patented Space Time....- At this precise moment a lot of shouting coming from the limousine caused Cyclefrance to look up. 'What a noisy bunch,’ he thought – ‘strange looking dog....Hey, wait a minute!’ one of them seemed to be shaking a fist at him and shouting as well... The car sped past, xoxoxoBruce's words rising and fading the way they do when a fast car goes by (you know a bit like when a police car goes by with its siren blaring). and, unfortunately for Cyclefrance, he had managed to break the cyclist's golden rule by stopping immediately adjacent to a large puddle left by the recent storm. A wall of water gracefully rose from the roadside as the limo passed, seemed to hang in the air for the merest fraction of a second, as if pondering whether to complete its intended finale or not, then the decision having been taken, it proceeded to cascade in one huge gush all over Cyclefrance (quite beautiful in away, although Cyclefrance didn't quite appreciate this...) Distilla-t-i-on...( he looked up) bla-. He didn't quite finish. In fact he found himself saying something else, and quite loudly, in the direction of the limousine: 'You fucking basta-' This just wasn't Cyclefrance's night! A huge Hummer sped past at that very second, just as the storm water had re-gathered itself into a nice big puddle again. SPURRRRRALASSSSHHHH! '..r-d-s!????' Right, thought CF, that's it, a cyclist can take so much. He threw his bike to the ground, and grabbed the Distillation Blaster resting it upon his shoulder and gazed through the sight-piece, pointing it towards the distant Hummer. 'My God it seems a hell of a way away' he said to himself, and he pressed the 'fire' button (handily marked ‘fire button’ - useful that). A laser blast (naturally) of pure energy shot from the blaster. Unfortunately, this was in the opposite direction to the one he had intended, as Cyclfrance had the thing the wrong way round. 'Oops!' A grand old oak tree, just about to celebrate two hundred years of existence and feeling very proud of itself as a result suddenly disappeared in a flash of quite astounding brilliance. Seems it was not his night either. ‘Oh, dear…!’ Cyclefrance looked at the blaster whose strap still hung around his shoulder,’that wasn’t meant to happ-’ Sun Sparkz, clad in a very fetching all-in-one red leather biker’s number shot past CF, missing the puddle (such a nice girl), but unfortunately catching the blaster’s strap in her handle bar. ‘Werrerrerggh – oh!’ Cyclefrance found himself behind Sun Sparkz and astride the pillion seat. ‘Hi CF – messed that up a bit didn’t you – you’d better give the blaster to me in a moment, hang on! And she gunned her flame red (color co-ordination is so important) Kawasaki 636 towards the Hummer at speed, an extremely damp CF, and a trailing line of onions behind (yes, they had somehow got caught up in CF’s apparel as well!) The on-board stereo of Sparkz’s bike (well, a girl can’t do without music now, can she) thumped away – it was N.E.R.D: ‘She's sexy!! Her youth ... She's sexy!!.’ ‘Oh, I say, this is rather nice..’ ‘For you, maybe (CF noticed an Australian twang to her words) – I don’t mind you holding on like that – but don’t go getting any ideas – and do your hands really have to be that high?? – Take it easy, cobber, we’ve more important things to do - we’ve a world to save!’ And she turned the accelerator grip even further, adding another 20 mph to their already phenomenal speed… __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears Last edited by Cyclefrance; 11-07-2005 at 04:14 AM.